Do you ever feel you are stuck feeling the same thing over and over? Read on…
A Reader writes:
In Focusing class they tell us to describe what we’re feeling without labeling it. Can you talk about the difference between describing and labeling?
Dear Reader:
Labeling is when we give something a name that categorizes it. A label says what something is. Giving something a label puts it at a distance. There’s no curiosity. “I already know what that is.”
Describing something means encountering it freshly. “This is what it feels like… now.”
What’s nice about a description is that it can change easily. You can keep sensing: How would I describe it now? Whereas a label is hard to change — partly because once we label something, we often stop checking.
Take “pain,” for example. The word “pain” could be either a label or a description. However, I find it is often used as a label, especially with familiar or chronic pain.
If someone tells me (in a Focusing session) that they feel pain, I will say, “How about if we let the word ‘pain’ float away for a while. And just be with that sensation freshly, describing it as if you had never felt it before.“
It’s remarkable what often happens then! The Focuser might say, “It’s burning,” or “It’s clenching.” Then I’ll say that word back, and invite them to check if the description fits. And they’ll say, “Oh! It’s changing!”
Sometimes what was “pain” is really pain no longer. And that’s the magic of describing rather than labeling. To be present to what is, freshly, allows it to change.
