Do you find yourself struggling to change a self-defeating habit? Read on…
A Reader writes:
Is there way to get myself to bed on time? I keep telling myself I’ll be in bed by midnight, but it doesn’t work! I keep wanting to stay up a bit longer, watch one more show, hear one more tune.
Dear Reader:
And then you’re tired the next day, right? I know that pattern so well!
To help this pattern shift, we need to identify the parts involved. You are telling yourself to get to bed on time. But in this case, “you” and “yourself” are two different parts. If they were not, then your will and your action would be one seamless process. No resistance or inner arguments.
Try saying it this way:
“Something in me doesn’t want to get to bed on time; it would rather stay up a bit longer to enjoy one more thing.”
This creates an inner relationship with the part that wants to stay up; you’ll be able to listen and get to know it better.
I remember when I struggled with a pattern like this. I sat down with the part of me that wanted to stay up late, and very kindly let it know I simply wanted to connect with it and listen to it. I was curious what was really going on from its point of view.
Surprise! I found out that for this part of me, the end of the day was super-special because it was the one time of day that really felt like mine. It was a time free of obligations and tasks. When I got in touch with that, I realized I really needed that kind of “me” time… and I started to give it to myself more, all day long.
After that, getting to bed on time was less and less of a problem! I’m not saying it’s the same for you — but when you listen gently inside, you’ll discover what’s really going on for the staying-up-late part. And then change comes naturally, without being forced. It’s as easy as listening to a friend.
