Only Say Yes When You Mean It
Start Setting Boundaries You Feel Good About in Just 21 Days
“Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.” ― Brené Brown
Do You Struggle to Set Healthy Boundaries?
I’ve seen so many people (including myself) have difficulty setting good, clear boundaries. And I’ve seen lives transform when people are finally able to state their needs with clarity and compassion.
Having good boundaries is a practice. You can develop your “good boundary superpowers” over time. (I’d love to help you do that.) And I also know it’s easy to get off track – to worry about being rejected, hurting the other person, and feeling like it’s unsafe to say what you need or want.
Maybe you start out with the best intentions to set boundaries. You plan and think about what would be right. Yet, when it’s time to take action, you tell yourself, “It’s not that bad…” And then end up giving in to a request that doesn’t feel right for you.
I know how easy it is to fall back into the habit of putting your own needs and feelings last.
Do you ever find it hard to:
- state your boundaries clearly?
- turn down another person’s requests for your time or attention?
- not feel bad when you don’t respond the way someone wants you to?
- decide what you want and/or don’t want in a situation?
- know what is right for you?
- say what you need in a compassionate, caring way?
Let me introduce you to the 21-Days to Healthier Boundaries course
I created this course (aka Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Life) to give you the skills and support to consistently practice setting better boundaries in your life.
You’ll be able to easily identify situations where boundaries are an issue for you. And you’ll have practical, step-by-step processes you can use to move beyond the emotional states that have stopped you from speaking up in the past.
Every day, for 21 days, you’ll get practices designed to support you in developing boundary setting skills.
You can access the materials online so you get them no matter where in the world you might be… Plus, you have them for life (or as long as Focusing Resources exists).
When you have a daily reminder, healthier boundaries are no longer something you get around to…maybe…if you have time.
Instead, you develop a practice of paying attention to your needs. You no longer get stuck in old, unhealthy patterns of putting yourself last, feeling resentful about saying yes when you mean no, or being afraid to speak up about your needs. You’ll have more trust that you know how to handle situations in your life.
The Healthy Boundaries course makes it easier to set limits effectively and kindly – because you get structure and guidance. Plus, you’re not alone. The moment you join, you become part of a community of people working on the same issues and concerns, who share the same values and can help you stay on track.
Get your first practice the day you sign up.
About Your Teacher
Ann created Inner Relationship Focusing with her long-time colleague, Barbara McGavin, to help people learn to listen compassionately to all the inner voices. Along the way, Ann and Barbara developed a radical new process for relating to the self-blaming voices inside them. It changed their lives, and it became their mission to help others transform as well.
For over 35 years now, Ann’s been teaching this practical, revolutionary process to people all over the world. With this course, you get the benefit of Ann’s expertise and the chance to practice the simple, yet revolutionary process of Focusing with her gentle, compassionate guidance.
Ann is the author of Focusing in Clinical Practice: The Essence of Change, The Power of Focusing, and The Radical Acceptance of Everything. Today she is internationally recognized as one of the leading innovators and theoreticians of Focusing.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve taken all my other courses, or just read my books, or if you’re brand new to the world of Focusing. No matter where you are now, this course provides the structure, guidance, and support to create powerful, sustainable changes to the way you handle boundaries.
If you want a straightforward, step-by-step process you can use to be consistent with your boundaries – to feel less guilt, frustration, or fear… If you want to finally know what you need and how to ask for it in a way that works for you, then the Healthy Boundaries course is for you.
You’ll learn how to:
- Say no without making explanations or excuses…
- Say no when you know you could help, but it isn’t the right thing for you…
- Say no when someone really wants something you don’t want to do…
- Say no and worry less about being liked or seeking approval…
- Say no without getting lost in fear, guilt, or feeling selfish…
- Say no with kindness and compassion…
- Say yes to time and space for your own priorities…
“Every no is really a yes to something else.” ― Ann Weiser Cornell
Only Say Yes When You Mean It
21 Days to Healthier Boundaries On-Demand Course
21-day Video Course to help you identify healthy boundaries and develop skills to set them with kindness and clarity. previously called Healthy Boundaries, Healthy Life
The 21 Practices
- The most important boundary to set first
- Your right to honor your own needs
- Setting boundaries without anger, blaming, excuses, or apologies
- Being aware, in the moment, that there is a boundaries issue
- Saying no without fear of being abandoned and alone
- Saying yes (and no)
- Creating time and space for your own self
- The question of how much to share (personal info, etc)
- How healthy boundaries help us connect well with others
- The hardest person to set a boundary with
- When wanting people to like you stops you from setting boundaries
- Saying no (and yes) without feeling guilty or selfish
- Standing your ground when the other person is angry or critical
- When your trauma history is involved
- Separating the other person’s feelings from your own
- How introverts can set boundaries
- When people are intrusive
- Setting boundaries with yourself
- How to lovingly connect without giving up on your needs
- Experiencing yourself as a separate being from others
- Clear communicating that takes the other into account
Hear From Happy Students…
“My biggest challenge before the Healthy Boundaries course was knowing that my needs matter as much as the needs of others and that left me feeling ugh–frustrated. I got some really great tips for setting boundaries and realized that people want to know what we need and what our boundaries are (I’m still working on taking that in!). Ann is amazing and wise and I LOVE the practices!”
“After the Healthy Boundaries course, I can maintain needed boundaries and I have tools to work with the parts of myself that are still inclined to give in to requests I’d rather not comply with. One of the best things about the course are the experiential exercises that help you develop your ability to state your boundaries firmly and compassionately.”
~Charles F. Herr, Ph.D.
“Taking this course is one of the greatest gifts I ever gave myself. Before the course, I didn’t know how to set boundaries. Now, I’m more aware of who I am, what my needs are, and that I have a right to have my needs met…just as much as anyone else. I’m more at peace and confident in my choices and in my interactions with others. This course opened up so much for me.”
“Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself. It doesn’t make me mean, selfish, or uncaring (just) because I don’t do things your way. I care about me, too.” ― Christine Morgan
Learn Wherever You Like
This video course is accessible by computer, tablet, or smart phone. If you can connect to the internet, you can connect to this course!
Be Supported In Your Process!
You won’t be going it alone! You’ll have access to a forum to chat with other students, plus access to Ann for parts where you might feel stuck
Available at Your Convenience!
Access new content (delivered daily) whenever it works for you. You get lifetime access, so you can revisit the material anytime
This course includes a beautiful PDF worksheets to help you integrate your learning. There will also be checkpoints during the course to check-in on your progress.
- Sue K."I've been living with a hidden fear of what might happen if I refuse to do what I imagine others expect of me for a long time. That fear has been dissolving bit by bit since starting the course. I feel great relief and a sense of freedom - and I have no idea where it might lead, but I know I found what I needed to make what feels like a huge step forward in my life."
- J.J."Healthy Boundaries is an extraordinarily helpful course. Ann makes difficult stuff about the boundaries between people and the boundaries inside yourself wonderfully simple."
- M.H."Before the Healthy Boundaries course, I wasn't very aware of the boundaries between me and other people. This left me feeling clueless when problems arose. Now, I have an excellent framework for understanding healthy boundaries. I feel much more confident in my relationships. I can communicate more easily and resolve difficult situations." M.H.
- Helena"Before the Healthy Boundaries course, it was challenging for me to recognize that my needs were actually important and I easily gave my power away to others. Now, it's easier for me to notice my own needs."
- Michelle T."Before the Healthy Boundaries course, I didn't recognize that when others said or did things that were hurtful to me that was a boundaries issue. I'd feel helpless in these situations. Now, I have more courage to stand up for myself in the moment, as it's happening. Each module of the course takes you further and deeper than you realize. This is far more than content or reading material from a book about "boundaries." This course is absolutely about getting a sense of what is right for you."
- Diane B."My biggest challenge was saying YES to do something for others when I felt it would be hard or inconvenient. Or I'd be giving up events and rest time that I wanted. I'd criticize myself over this and feel even more tired and inadequate. After Healthy Boundaries, I used the hints in the course to say things to myself that helped me bring balance to the pull between yes and no. I had a better sense of MY boundaries and how they could be viewed in different situations. It's been the best gift I've given to myself - the ease and freedom to live my life feels amazing." Diane B.
- Bob H."I've always had some difficulty asserting my needs and values. It's frustrating to not stand my ground and come through for myself. Just a few days ago I 'caved' on leaving a Zoom meeting when it no longer felt worthwhile. I might have gotten down on myself about that before... But this time, I saw the pattern clearly and acknowledged my feelings, which was far more constructive. I'm pretty confident that I'll take better care of myself next time and leave when it feels right."
- Nadia Alattar"Before the Healthy Boundaries course, my biggest challenge was not knowing when to set boundaries. This left me feeling confused. Now, I know something about different kinds of boundaries and I believe I have the right to sense my needs and express them which helps me put the right boundaries in place."
How am I going to fit this into my life right now?
The great news is that you can take this course whenever it works for you. You get content when you want it, plus lifetime access. No stressing out about being somewhere on time. Way less pressure to move through the material at a pace that might not fit for you. The lessons are compact and set up so that you can do them in small bites or big chunks depending on your learning style and your availability.
Do I get access to the course all at once?
No. You’ll have access to the first lesson of the course as soon as you sign up. Every day, you’ll get a new lesson released to you. We provide the content in ‘small bites’ like this because taking time to practice the material and move forward in small, consistent steps supports you in making the kinds of changes you really want to make.
How is the course content provided?
The classroom is virtual and taught in a learning platform called Ruzuku. Materials are provided via a combination of video, audio slideshows, and written content to cover a variety of learning styles. There is a forum so you can connect with other program participants and be part of a dynamic learning community. And you get lifetime access to all of it. Go through it once and come back anytime you need some extra support to handle life!
Can my friend and I share the course?
Thanks for asking. Each course is licensed to a single user – you! While we can’t authorize you to share the materials, we’d love to have your friend participate too. Please feel free to invite them to sign up too!
Are CE Credits available?
No, we’re sorry. Continuing Education Units (CE Credits) are not available for this course. If you need CE Credits, please check out our upcoming live online courses here.