“Person-centered therapists and counselors will resonate with the emphasis on deep empathy, listening patiently, and being open to all aspects of experience. Highly recommended.”

—Robert Elliott, Ph.D.
co-originator of Emotion Focused Therapy, co-author of Emotion Focused Therapy in Action and Learning Emotion Focused Therapy

“A beautiful, wise, useful, and important book. Imagine a world where we could all untangle the tangles! Untangling is an excellent place to begin.”

—Marc Lesser
author of Finding Clarity

“Untangling is an easy-reading yet superb self-help guide that equips lay readers with some of the most effective methods of focused, experiential psychotherapy—and that is no small achievement! The process of inner self-discovery and transformational change mapped out in this book will be truly liberating for innumerable people.” 

—Bruce Ecker, LMFT
co-director, Coherence Psychology Institute, co-originator of Coherence Therapy, and co-author of Unlocking the Emotional Brain

“A brilliantly supportive, generous, and life giving book. Ann and Barbara offer themselves and their work to support people on how to meet difficult and stuck places with a method that is filled with presence, love, and compassion. The stories, examples, and guidance bring life to this work, and the possibility of staying close to life’s own unfolding.”

—Cynthia Luna
Managing Partner at New Ventures West and Co-founder of Praxsys Leadership

“An insightful and compassionate guide for working with life’s most difficult challenges. This book is for anyone seeking to shift from ‘stuckness’ and move into a place of transformation and flow.”

—Dr. Scott Lyons
holistic psychologist, mind-body medicine specialist, founder of The Embody Lab, and author of Addicted to Drama.

“Ann and Barbara zero in on the stuck places and self-destructive thoughts and behaviors that seem impossible to change. Untangling provides a map to a freer and more interesting life that is brilliant, inviting, and amazingly practical. This book can change your life.”

—Sheila Rubin, LMFT and Bret Lyon, PhD
authors of Embracing Shame and co-directors of the Center for Healing Shame 

“What a gem! Untangling, offers us both understanding and action for one of life’s messiest puzzles – how to resolve hopelessly entrenched problems we struggle with on a daily basis. I suspect that many of us will keep this book close and use it frequently, as it so simply and gracefully addresses such core life experiences.”

—Christine Caldwell, Ph.D., LPC, BC-DMT
Professor Emeritus, Naropa University Somatic Counseling Program, author of Bodyfulness

“Untangling offers stunning insights into the structure of our knottiest and most intractable inner conflicts, and shows readers the way out….invaluable for psychotherapists and laypeople alike who are seeking a method for working through difficult and deep-seated emotional issues and blocks.”

—Helene G. Brenner, Ph.D.
Focusing Oriented Therapist and author of I Know I’m in There Somewhere

“With striking humility, refreshing clarity and deep empathy, the authors show how the way to heal the deepest wounds, to free the most intractable, “stuck” habits and live forward into a full, authentic life is not by trying to fix anything. It’s by listening with compassion, curiosity and acceptance to everything that’s here.

The real gift of Untangling is hope. On these pages, Ann Weiser Cornell and Barbara McGavin extend their open hands and show a way through even the darkest and most resistant places into a whole and forward-flowing life.”

—Colin Berg

“Most of us have experienced intractable problems in our lives that persist despite all our best efforts to resolve them.  One particularly helpful concept in this book asserts that complex, repetitive difficulties of this nature cannot be solved from inside “the tangle.”  In other words, all of the thoughts, beliefs, feelings, assumptions and solutions that arise from inside the problem itself are ultimately just another part of the problem.  

The authors’ proposed solution is relational in nature and depends on each human being’s innate capacity for love, empathy, curiosity and radical self-acceptance.  They describe how to cultivate and embody these positive traits so that practitioners will have the ability to relate to their various inner parts with empathy and curiosity instead of harsh judgment. I was particularly impressed by the level of integrity in this book. There’s no woo-woo or hype here. Instead, we have a straightforward proposal for radical change that depends on practice, persistence and going slow. Their honesty feels like a breath of fresh air. They deliver a thorough and precise explanation of this relational process called Untangling, which serves as a pathway through complex problems and offers a way forward into personal freedom.”

—Lee Miller

“I came away with renewed appreciation for Untangling’s combination of precision and wonder: the language of the method is precise and fine-tuned, while the shifts that emerge in feelings, behaviors, and relationships are deeply personal. I highly recommend Untangling! It offers an affirming, nuanced and clear guide for those new to Inner Relationship Focusing, and it serves as a refined summation of this transformative process for long-time practitioners of Focusing.”

—Elizabeth Agnew

“I’ve been taught to figure out, deny, chastise, pray away and/or get victorious over my stuck places. And, that self-efforting really hasn’t really worked for me. The invitation in Untangling is so radically different.

Untangling really is a beautiful process and example of how love heals even the most sticky of stuckness. For anyone wanting to do inner healing work, please pick up this book.”

—Paula Gamble-Grant

“This book offers you a gentle process and specific language to help you turn toward what’s hard, so that what’s needed next will come from being with what’s there. There’s no guessing, forcing, pushing or white-knuckling of any kind!

Untangling feels good … deliciously good … even when you’re with something hard. I’m truly in awe of this process, which continues to help me live with greater resilience, confidence and ease. If you’re wanting to feel differently and live differently, then this book is for you!”

—Lauren Taub Cohen

“My years of Untangling through the Inner Relationship Focusing process prepared me to accompany my father with greater compassion, empathy, and wisdom in the last year of his life. Reading an early version of this book as my father was actively dying, helped me stay aware of my desire to live from Presence (self-in-presence). The book served as a reminder to acknowledge the parts of me which emerged as life unfolded in real time between me, my father, and my family. There is healing to be found in the dying process. Through the ongoing practice of the untangling process, I was open and free to receive the gifts of grace, life, and freedom that emerge.

Ann and Barbara’s gentle teaching has significantly influenced the quality of my everyday life. This is a book I will return to often for my own resourcing. I look forward to sharing it with others. “

—Kim Isaak

“There is a tremendous amount of information in Untangling: How You Can Transform What’s Impossibly Stuck. I am starting on my second read of the book to deepen my understanding and further develop my Untangling skill… I’ve waited a long time for this my book. I am so incredibly grateful to have it in my life. I highly recommend it to all Focusers and anyone else interested in a truly effective way to transform their lives. I give this book 5 stars, 10/10 and two thumbs way up!”

—John Juskiewicz

“…a soulful reclamation of self through deep empathy and guided understanding. 

For anyone in a constant fight with their inner critics or feeling trapped by self-sabotage, Untangling is a beacon of hope wrapped up in a practical, heartfelt guide to true emotional freedom.”

—Jamie Michele for Readers’ Favorite

“Barbara McGavin and Ann Weiser Cornell help you feel powerful as you acknowledge your feelings with no judgment… As I read, I felt an immense amount of empathy and compassion from the authors.

Readers who are ready to look inward to solve hard issues and grow as individuals will benefit from reading Untangling.”

—Courtnee Turner Hoyle for Readers’ Favorite

“…one of the most inspirational self-help guides I’ve read all year. 

Untangling offers practical tools and insights for self-reflection, which you can use to delve into the root causes of your problems and steer those parts (aspects) of yourself toward the path of healing and fulfillment.”

—Pikasho Deka for Readers’ Favorite

“Untangling is a comforting and supportive self-help guide that illuminates an empathetic process of self-transformation.

Barbara McGavin and Ann Weiser Cornell’s transformative self-help guide Untangling cuts to the heart of life’s most complex problems, providing concrete directions for addressing the internal knots that stop people from living their most authentic and expansive lives.

Untangling is about working through one’s problems with honesty and empathy to secure a renewed sense of freedom, autonomy, and joy.”

—Bella Moses, Foreword Clarion Reviews

“An indispensable manifesto of personal healing…

Through a mixture of powerful personal anecdotes, astute theoretical analysis, and concrete, easy-to-follow instructions, McGavin and Cornell have created an indispensable manifesto of personal healing.”

—BookLife Reviews, Editor’s Pick