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"It seemed like the first thing they needed was to find Presence."
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Christina writes: "When I was doing a
Focusing presentation for a Breast Cancer
group, it seemed like the very
first thing they needed was to find Presence
within them as a reference point for
everything else. Is it appropriate to get that bodily felt
sense of Presence going earlier in regular
Focusing? It feels that way sometimes
when I am guiding an individual
session."
Dear Christina,
If it feels that way, you're probably right.
Let's do a brief review of the concept of
Presence and how it relates to Focusing.
Barbara McGavin and I first developed the
concept of Presence for our application of
Focusing to difficult areas of life (Treasure
Maps to the Soul). When people are struggling
with depression, addiction, severe
self-criticism, etc., it is especially
important to find this way of being that is
not caught up in the inner struggle.
We soon realized that ALL our Focusing
students needed to be able to find Presence!
It's actually an essential part of Focusing
itself.
"Presence" is an inner state of acknowledging
what we feel and experience without being
caught up in it.
One quick way to remind ourselves of Presence
is to use "Presence language." If we are
saying "I'm frustrated at how long this is
taking," we would consciously switch that to
"I'm sensing something in me that is
frustrated at how long this is taking." And
feel the difference.
Another way to support our being in Presence
is to sense where and how we feel good in our
bodies right now: open, alive, flowing, spacious.
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Presence at the Start of Focusing
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Bringing in a sense of Presence at the very
start of Focusing, as Christina is asking,
would involve saying something like this when
you are starting:
"I'm taking time to sense in my body... the
outer areas of my body... my arms and
hands... my legs and my feet... my body's
contact with what I'm sitting on...
"And sensing how my body is feeling good
right now... open, alive, spacious, warm...
even a little bit... sensing how that
feels...
"And bringing awareness into the middle area
of my body too -- throat, chest, stomach,
belly -- giving a gentle invitation in there,
like I'm saying 'What wants my awareness now?'"
(To help another person start a Focusing
session, you would say the same thing with
"you" and "your" instead of "me" and "my."
This could also be a start for a group
exercise in Focusing.)
These words are only suggestions; different
people like different ways of leading in.
What I find especially important is the
attitude of invitation. And who is
doing the inviting? It's you --- in Presence.
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