"I seemingly have two distinct experiences with Focusing."
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Carol writes: "I seemingly have two distinct experiences with Focusing. When I use the led experiences on the Learning Focusing CD (CD one, tracks 5-9 or 10-15), I usually have a clear and definite image/symbol emerge, (which sometimes flows or changes). I do this practice many days a week, for about 10-20 minutes, and it’s been months now. Very nourishing experience.
"When I am doing my day and check in with myself (often being with stressing parts or making decisions), I am very aware of "parts of myself." I do not have a sense of symbol, more of personality; like a noisy family in the car. Sometime I journal with these parts if it’s an important decision. I find this type of experience less juicy and more like "work."
"Question: Is there a way for me to practice Focusing so that I may feel more unified? Right now it feels like two very different practices to me."
Dear Carol,
Thank you so much for asking about this. It gives me a chance to clear up a misunderstanding I think is widespread.
Inner Relationship Focusing, which Barbara McGavin and I have created, is famous for being "about parts." But actually, in many cases (and this is one of them), we would rather back people away from the parts that are there.
When one is caught up in a struggle that has "parts" (parts of me this…, part of me that…") , having these parts is more of a symptom than a way forward. The way to tell that you are experiencing this type of "unhelpful" part is the very feeling you describe, "a noisy family in a car." Perpetual fighting. No sense of a way forward.
So Focusing with this would involve letting go of the specific ways you already hold the situation, including the parts. Then bringing awareness into your body and taking time to invite a sense of "the whole situation." Let what you mean by "the whole situation" be as wide and inclusive as possible. "All of this whole thing."
The felt sense that forms of "the whole thing" may take some time to come. You will know it when it does come because it will feel good. To say it more precisely: it itself may not feel good–it could feel all kinds of ways–but that it came, and you are sensing it, that will feel good.
Once it comes, you can freshly sense how you would describe the feel of it, how it feels right now, no assumptions and no expectations. This will take you somewhere surprising. And it should feel as nourishing as your first type of experience does to you now.
As you do this, parts may re-emerge… but they may not be the same as the parts you had originally. To do Focusing, we’re letting go of all the previous ways this had been held… and that includes the parts.
(Thanks to Barbara McGavin for her help with this answer.)
Learning Focusing
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You too can enjoy the CD set (2 CDs) that Carol is talking about! It’s got five guided exercises in my voice and tips on everything from dealing with sleepiness to overwhelm.
