“A part of me said I should commit to a regular exercise program.”
A Reader writes:
In a recent Focusing session, I was working with an issue of my health. I became aware of something in my throat area that was quite worried about my health.
When I asked if it had something to share it me, it said, “You need to commit to a regular exercise program.”
I’m confused about the next step, from a Focusing perspective. Do I tell it that I agree to make that commitment? And what then?
Dear Reader,
Ah, yes. A worried part that asks us to do something, to make a commitment, to take an action.
And then we think, “Well, this is Focusing, so I’m listening to my body, so I should do what my body asks me to do.”
No, that’s not what I’d recommend. Sure, it’s probably a good idea to do what your body asks you to do… but parts are not your body. Your body will never say “You should.”
How does our body tell us what it needs? Recently, after an injury, I made myself my usual cup of tea in the morning. I took one swallow… and it felt wrong. I didn’t want it. I went and poured it out, and had hot water instead. The next morning, the same thing happened. Now I just have hot water. That was my body saying it no longer wanted to drink tea.
There was no voice saying “You shouldn’t drink tea.”
When you hear that “You should” voice from inside, that shows you’re in touch with a certain kind of part, a kind that is always worried. And if you respond by doing what it demands, you are skipping a rich opportunity for growth and change. (And since parts are always opposed by other parts, the commitment is likely to soon grind to a halt, anyway.)
Instead of doing what it says, be Self-in-Presence and say to it, “I invite you to let me know what you are worried will happen if I don’t _______.” In your case, “…if I don’t commit to a regular exercise program.” If you keep listening, there will be a deeper worry, and likely also a sense of protection. Hearing all that from Self-in-Presence brings a shift.
I’m not saying you won’t do your exercise program! But if you do, that will be a decision made from your whole Self, and not because a part of you told you to.