Focusing Tip #817 – “When I check a word, who am I checking with?”

When you check with your body, what are you actually checking with? Read on…

Several people asked:

In Focusing class I am learning to describe what I’m feeling in my body without labeling or evaluating.

After I find a description, like “tight,” the next step is to check the word “tight” to see if it fits. But I’m not sure who or what I am checking with. Do I ask the feeling if “tight” fits it… and what if it doesn’t answer?

Dear Focusing Friends:

There’s a stage later in a Focusing process where the “something” that we feel inside is alive enough to respond to prompts and questions. That’s the stage where we can feel that “it” is glad we are listening… and there’s a lot it wants us to know.

But at the start of a Focusing session, it’s rarely like that. At the start of a Focusing session, the body feeling (or felt sense) may be unclear and vague. Or it may be definitely there, but mainly physical rather than emotional.

At this stage, asking “it” something and expecting it to answer will be frustrating, rather like expecting a rock to talk back to you!

So when you are checking a word like “tight” back with the place it came from, it’s not like asking a question.

It’s more like you are checking with the experience to see if you’re accurately describing what it feels like.

Imagine that you are trying out a new flavor of ice cream, and a friend asks you what it is like. You take a taste… mmm… mmm… and you say, “I think it’s like cinnamon honey.” Your friend says, “You think? Here, have another taste.”

You take another taste of the ice cream, so you are actually having the taste experience right now. And you check with your experience, do the words “cinnamon honey” fit? Maybe so… maybe they are not quite right…

Of course sensing your body is more complex than tasting ice cream. For one thing, the felt sense might have changed by the time you bring the description back to it. Then of course the description changes as well!

This movement — sensing, describing, and checking if the description fits — is central to the Focusing process. And one more interesting point: The description doesn’t have to be in words! It could be an image, a gesture, or even a sound. Enjoy!