“When I or my partner are having a very positive experience, I have the tendency to want to drop the idea of ‘something in you’ or ‘something in me’…”
Katherine writes:
When I or my partner are having a very positive experience, such as feeling light coming in, or an angel, or finding a beautiful place that is very nourishing, I have the tendency to want to drop the idea of “something in you” or “something in me” and say YOU to the Focuser (if I am Companion) or “I” (if I’m the Focuser and sharing with a Companion).
I get the feeling that these very positive, light giving, nourishing experiences are for my (or the Focuser’s) whole being, my (or their) Self-in-Presence.
Do you agree that when these profound positive experiences occur we should not longer talk in terms of partial selves?
Dear Katherine:
I do!
I believe that Focusing brings us more and more into an experience of our wholeness. And that can happen…is already happening…at any time. So when we have those positive enjoyable experiences, that is wholeness, not a part.
“Parts” are those narrow aspects of us that are struggling to push or pull us in different directions, driven by some kind of wounding and the attempt to solve the problems the wounding caused (but without the resources to succeed).
What feels difficult, contractive, painful inside is always “something” that needs compassionate attention.
But what feels flowing, open, alive, at ease, expansive… is not “something.” It is who we really are.
So when there are enjoyable feelings and life-giving images, you can say, “I feel ____.” “I feel joyful and relaxed.” And your Companion can say “You feel ______.” “You feel filled with light.”
