“My dad left our family suddenly and unexpectedly…”
Raewyn writes:
Thank you Ann for your timely reminder of slowness and gentleness for our traumatized parts. (Tip #423)
Some of the noticing in my body recently has been of feelings associated with the trauma I experienced as a 12 year old when my Dad left our family suddenly and unexpectedly. I have noticed numbness and vulnerability which I am aware I have very consistently covered by eating sweet things… my comfort at that time. That habit has continued and the feelings I’ve noticed feel ‘old and familiar’… and very fragile as you describe.
Tears are there as I express how slowly and how compassionately I have been acknowledging the feelings over the last 2 weeks… mostly reassuring them of my company… gently touching my skin… extra gentleness when washing my hands and brushing my hair… making space for the more to come… but not hushing the feelings… or trying to hide them with sugar or carbs. And most importantly, not rushing in and forcing a fixing, which I have been aware of doing in the past. More is coming… I sense it… and this time I am clear that I will be Self-in-Presence to allow the vulnerability to be expressed and the trauma released.
Focusing has led me here and Focusing will continue my healing journey…
Ann writes:
Wow, what a beautiful recounting of the active gentleness you are bringing to your process! That’s a lovely image I have of you washing your hands and brushing your hair with extra gentleness. It really sounds like you are listening to the vulnerable one inside of you and letting her lead the way. You are creating the environment of safety and change by BEING Self-in-Presence, by turning toward what needs attention and allowing it all the time and space it needs. Raewyn, your story is a beautiful and inspiring one. Thank you so much for giving me permission to share it.
We release trauma by becoming the environment that the traumatized one always needed. It’s not hard to do, because compassionate attention is the natural state of Self. It’s only parts of us that get impatient and start to say things are not changing quickly enough. And those too we can turn toward and say a gentle Hello to. A space of radical acceptance!
