“Is the ‘Real Me’ always present? Mine gets overwhelmed by parts.”
More from Ralph:
Last time we heard from Ralph, and I responded to his question about how the need to get felt shifts seemed “insatiable.” Here is what he wrote after the Tip appeared:
Thank you so much for your reply. I cannot begin to tell you how helpful your comments/suggestions have been. I am now paying much more attention to my internal environment, and I am far less impatient with myself. In a paradoxical manner I now see how I have been blocking my own progress by making too many demands for change. I feel I am creating a more relaxed/tolerant internal environment and surprise, surprise change starts to occur. Strange how we can unwittingly block the progress we are so impatient to make.
So true! It reminds me of Carl Rogers, who said:
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
And this week we have a question from Laura, who asks:
Is the “Real Me” always ‘Present’? I think my Real Me sometimes gets overwhelmed by various other parts.
Dear Laura,
Ah! Well, let’s remember that this is all process, and the perspective changes.
When I’m caught up in something, overwhelmed by a part of me, overcome by rage or lost in longing, then that feels like “me.” And so for the moment, that IS me.
Then I realize it’s happening…and everything changes. Now I’m having an experience of myself that is larger than the emotional state. “Me” is bigger.
When that happens, I feel: Oh, this larger Me was always there.
Of course it was…but in a very real sense it also wasn’t, because that wasn’t my experience at the time.
I would rather say, not that the Real Me is always present, but that it is always possible. The “you” who can say “Hello I know you are there” to any part of you is only one “Hello” away!
