Focusing Tip #726 – 12 ways to cultivate Self-in-Presence

Focusing Tip #726 – 12 ways to cultivate Self-in-Presence
October 21, 2020 Ann Weiser Cornell
Do you try to listen to your strong feelings but find yourself merging with them? Read on...

Focusing Tip #726 – 12 ways to cultivate Self-in-Presence

Do you try to listen to your strong feelings but find yourself merging with them? Read on…


Margot writes:

Is it possible, during a Focusing session, to be really Focusing and still feeling that there is a Part slowly invading the Self? I say, “There is something in me that is so desperately longing for action,” and continue listening to what it says, but sometimes I end up crying because this part is so strong, and I can’t seem to stay with it without becoming it. It is still here every day with the same intensity, like a bottomless bag of sadness… and I am so aware of it.

Dear Margot:

For our Parts to shift, move, relax, melt… we need to be Self-in-Presence in relationship with them.

If we are merged with one Part trying to be with another Part, nothing changes. So it is important to be Self-in-Presence!

But no one is Self-in-Presence all the time. Our ability to be awarely present to ourselves fluctuates. Sometimes it is strong and secure, sometimes it is fragile and thin.

We can’t MAKE ourselves be Self-in-Presence but what we can do is cultivate Self-in-Presence.

In the situation you describe, it sounds like it would be a good idea for you to cultivate Self-in-Presence more.

There are actually some steps for that! Saying the words, “there is something in me that _______” can help to cultivate Self-in-Presence.

Even better is adding the words “I am sensing” to the start of the sentence. “I am sensing there is something in me that _______.”

After saying that, you can say Hello to the something. “Hello, I know you are there.”

You can also cultivate Self-in-Presence through resourcing. For example, feeling your body supported by what you are sitting on.

Resting into your breathing.

Looking around the room, finding something you love or something beautiful.

Looking out the window.

Taking a walk and noticing flowers and trees. Remembering taking a walk.

Playing with a puppy or kitten. Remembering playing with a puppy or kitten.

Doing yoga. Dancing.

All of these (and many more) are ways of building your resources of Self-in-Presence so that you are able to be steadily present with the Parts of you that you get in touch with.

1 Comment

  1. Jenna 1 year ago

    Is there a book or article you’d recommend that explores cultivating Self-in-Presence specifically?

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