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Focusing Tip #482


“The feeling just continues to sit in my gut without much change.”


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A Reader writes:
When I try to do Focusing there is no comfort, as you describe in your book, from saying “hello.” It feels quite mechanical and not connective. There is no relaxing that comes about as a result. The feeling just continues to sit in my gut without much change.

Dear Reader:
If the “Hello” feels quite mechanical and not connective, then it sounds like you have put your finger on why there is no help from the Hello.

In fact it sounds like your body process is telling you clearly that it needs a Hello that is not mechanical! That’s excellent!

Words alone don’t make the difference, it’s the intention behind the words. Imagine hearing a mechanical “Hello” from another person. You wouldn’t feel warm and connected to that person!

You might ask yourself, what would it take to give a Hello that WOULD feel connective? Maybe “hello” is not the right word. Imagine greeting someone you love, someone you are glad to see. How do you do it?

What you might discover is that you are actually not feeling very warm and welcoming toward the feeling in your gut. An important discovery!

What you would do then is turn toward something in you that doesn’t feel warm and welcoming toward the other feeling. This is the one that needs your attention first. It may need to tell you how tired it is of the other feeling being there. Let it know you hear it…and see if you can give IT a warm Hello!

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