Focusing Tip #481
“I get lost in different feelings located in my body.”
Maria writes:
Sometimes there’s just no relief, and by trying to find one, I get lost in different feelings located in my body and end up confused and tense and often sad. How could I change my approach or practice?
Dear Maria:
There’s a very simple practice that can change your relationship with your emotional states. (I said “simple” — that doesn’t mean it’s easy!)
The language of Presence is: “I am sensing something in me that…”
This language helps you remember that you are not your feelings, you are with your feelings. You can be with them and be larger than they are.
For example, trying to find relief is actually a good way to get stuck! It means we aren’t accepting and welcoming what we feel. So as soon as you notice that you are trying to find relief, say, “I am sensing something in me that is trying to find relief…and I am saying Hello to it.”
You said you end up confused and tense and often sad. Wonderful! Those are all doorways to further process. But only if you turn to them and say, “I am sensing something in me that is confused… “I am sensing something in me that is tense… “I am sensing something in me that is sad…”
This language helps you remember that you are not your feelings, you are with your feelings. You can be with them and be larger than they are.
For example, trying to find relief is actually a good way to get stuck! It means we aren’t accepting and welcoming what we feel. So as soon as you notice that you are trying to find relief, say, “I am sensing something in me that is trying to find relief…and I am saying Hello to it.”
You said you end up confused and tense and often sad. Wonderful! Those are all doorways to further process. But only if you turn to them and say, “I am sensing something in me that is confused… “I am sensing something in me that is tense… “I am sensing something in me that is sad…”
Then you can be the calm, spacious Presence as your body shows you whatever it wants to show you today.
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