“I say Hello to the depressed part, but it refuses to talk to me.”

“I say Hello to the depressed part, but it refuses to talk to me.”
October 28, 2015 Ann Weiser Cornell

Focusing Tip #484

“How can I get the depressed part of me to communicate with me?”

A Reader writes:
When I try to approach the depressed part of me as an inner “something,” it acts as if it is angry with me and does not want to talk with me. How can I get it to communicate with me?

Dear Reader:
That actually sounds like a lot of communication! It is saying that it is angry, not in words maybe, but in a very clear communication that you are receiving. Good!

We can’t expect our inner places to welcome our contact wholeheartedly all the time. There is a history here…and if it has been a long time since you showed up in your inner world with kindness, no wonder there is a bit of resentment in there. Or anger.

We don’t know what it is angry about, of course. We just know for sure that it has some good reason to be angry, from its point of view.

How might you win its trust so it would at least show you more what it is angry about? I’d say the first step would be to respect it. Say, “I sense you are angry,” and then stop. See what happens. Maybe a little later say, “I’m sure you have a good reason to be angry.” Be curious but not pushy.

Relationships grow in mutual trust over time. By being willing to take time, you are giving your inner emotional places something that they surely have been needing. I predict the shift from anger to welcome will come sooner than you think.


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