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Focusing Tip #539
“I have a very hard time getting identified with anxiety and resistance but don’t notice until after several days of struggling…”
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Michelle writes:
I’m wondering if you can talk about any tips or suggestions for when we are identified with something? I have a very hard time with anxiety and resistance, and I think I often get identified with these feelings but don’t notice until after several days of struggling. Are there any tips for noticing when that is the case so that we can move towards that feeling of anxiety and/or resistance with loving presence?
Dear Michelle:
You know what to do when you do become aware that there is something in you that is anxious or something in you that is resisting. Move towards it with loving presence is right on!
But the dilemma, which you describe so well, is: How do I know I am identified with something? How do I become aware that this isn’t all of me, going around feeling anxious, or angry, or upset, or resisting… but something in me?
That’s the tricky part, isn’t it? If we don’t know we’re identified, we can’t do any of the other good things we know.
The first step is always to pause. Pausing means taking a bit of time to turn toward how you are feeling, how you are. If you get into the habit of doing this, then it doesn’t have to be triggered by any particular insight about your condition. Just pause… several times a day… and sense how you are.
At that point you can ask yourself, “Might I be caught up in something? Might I be identified with something? Might this unpleasant feeling or state be something I can say hello to?”
And whether or not you know the answer, try saying “Something in me is feeling _________.” Just try the words. See if they bring a sense of relief, or space, or curiosity.
And now you’re back on track to be able to be accepting Self-in-Presence with how you are feeling.
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