“The problem is, when I stop Focusing and go on doing my daily activities, I am still partially in that quiet state, which is passive.”

Ana writes:

When I do Focusing with my parts, I get into this comfortable compassionate state of acceptance, quietness, simply being. The problem is, when I stop Focusing and go on doing my daily activities, I am still partially in that quiet state, which is passive. When it comes to communication, I get more introverted, just because I got used to quietly listening.

Is there a better way to finish the Focusing session, so that I feel more energized, and extroverted to the level I usually am?

Dear Ana:

Good question! The thing is, Focusing is not only about being with parts. It often seems that way… because if there are parts clamoring, they need to come first.

What we call “parts” are aspects of the self that are stuck in repetitive emotional states and action strategies that are meant to be helpful but no longer are.

In order to shift and have less power over you, these parts need for you to be present to them and to listen to what they have been trying to do for you.

But then who takes action, if not parts?

You!

You are the one who can be an empathic listener to your parts AND you are the one who can take centered clear action in your life.

So Focusing is not only about listening to parts. It is also about finding your inner strength, what feels right to you, what you want to do… so you can move forward with your life as your full self.

At the end of a Focusing session, try asking, “What do I want to do today?” or “How do I want to communicate today?”

If you feel a shift, you can ask: “How do I want to carry this new way of being into the world?”

When our parts calm down and feel heard, our life energy emerges and we can live as our full selves. Wonderful!