A part of me feels young, non-verbal, and very stuck

A part of me feels young, non-verbal, and very stuck
April 18, 2018 Ann Weiser Cornell

Focusing Tip #605 – “A part of me feels young, non-verbal, and very stuck”


A Reader writes:

I heard that in the Untangling process you have a part called the Small One. In my Focusing I keep getting in touch with a part that feels very young, pre-verbal, and it also feels very stuck. Like it hasn’t moved in a long time. Could you say more about it?

Dear Reader:

The Small One can be experienced as terribly wounded, raw, damaged, like “a baby in a coma,” or quite far from aliveness in other ways (examples: “like a knife in the heart,” “like a patch of tar on the road”).

Yet the Small One, of all the parts, is closest to being the whole vibrantly alive Self. Really!

So we may have the surprising experience of the Small One changing relatively quickly from near-deadness to sparkling aliveness.

One moment it is terribly needy, like a bottomless pit… and the next moment it wants to bring more vibrancy to your life.

The change itself is quick but may come after a long period of sensing-feeling contact which something in us may experience as “nothing happening.”

We can’t “make” that change happen – but we can create the conditions for it by bringing Self-in-Presence to precisely how the Small One is. We let it know it can be as it is for as long as it needs to be. That’s the best condition for change!

It also helps to understand that the Small One is life energy temporarily stopped, rather than being something damaged inside us.

[This response was co-written by Barbara McGavin.]

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