Do your feelings calm down but then you’re thrown back into the same stressful situation? Read on…
A Reader writes:
A person in my social groups said something bad that triggered me. I could be with my feelings about that, and then my feelings calm down. But then I see that person and I’m triggered all over again.
How do you cope in that situation please?
Dear Reader:
It’s great that being with your feelings is helpful. But you’ve found out something. Just being with your feelings is not enough!
You need to have a relationship with the parts of you that have those feelings where you listen deeply to what is under being triggered. There is always more.
After all, if a situation or a person is triggering you, there are two main possibilities.
(1) The triggering is because you’re being reminded of something from the past, and the current situation is otherwise something you could live with.
Or:
(2) You need to take some action to protect yourself, draw a boundary, change the current circumstances so that you are safe.
By listening deeply to your feelings you’ll be able to tell which of these is true. And if it’s the second one, you’ll be able to think clearly (because you’ve spent time acknowledging your emotions) so you can decide what you need to do.
Remember, the very thing you thought was obvious is the place to get curious. There is always more! And when the “more” emerges you’ll have new choices and new possibilities.
