Is it hard to accept yourself because of your life circumstances? Read on…
A Reader writes:
I watched your webinar on Embracing What You Find Hard to Accept about Yourself and I still feel doubtful.
I don’t have a regular job and I feel like other people are doing so much better with their lives than I am. That’s what I find it hard to accept about myself, and when you talk about embracing it, I just don’t know. It’s something I really wish I could change.
Dear Reader:
There’s a big difference between wanting something to change, and judging how it is now as wrong or bad.
Often it feels like we have to judge ourselves in order to spur ourselves to change. But in my experience, the opposite is true. If I feel bad about myself, I’m less likely to have the clarity and the energy I need to go after change.
As we taught in the webinar, start by acknowledging how it is:
“I am sensing something in me feels bad about not having a regular job…. and I am saying Hello to that.”
Next, let a gentle hand go to the place in your body where you feel that, and let it know you are here to listen. There is more there… there is subtle detail about what that part of you feels, what it is worried about, and what it wants for you. Just listen.
This kind of listening is what we mean by embracing. Like a warm friend, you are there for this part of you. With this quality of listening, you create the space for the next steps of life to emerge.
Yes, things are how they are right now. And maybe you regret some of the choices you made. But next steps of life are always possible. And by turning toward the places in you that hurt, or feel bad, or feel unacceptable, you create an environment where true positive change can emerge.
