Do you find yourself feeling the feelings of the other person? Read on…
Alison writes:
When I am Focusing, I often seem to be feeling the same as my Focusing partner. What is occurring?
Dear Alison:
When you are doing Focusing, you are especially attuned to your felt senses… and felt senses can include a sense of the situation you are in.
As living beings, we are connected to all living beings, and we are most connected to the ones we are interacting with, right now.
So no wonder you can feel a resonance to the feelings of your Focusing partner!
However, for some people this “feeling what the other person is feeling” can get to be too much. If your Focusing partner is filled with sadness, it’s not necessary for you to be filled with sadness also.
Your partner doesn’t need for you to be as sad as they are. What your partner needs is for you to be present, gentle, and listening. Being too sad yourself can interfere with that.
So it’s good to remember that the other person’s feelings are theirs… and yours are never quite the same anyway.
If you use the language we recommend, and say “You are sensing…” when you reflect back your partner’s feelings, the very form of that language can help you remember: “I am I, you are you, and we are here.”
