Focusing Tip #686 – “I’m not at all sure I have a Self-in-Presence”

What can you do if you don’t know what Self-in-Presence is or how to find it? Read on…

Jim writes:

I’ve done your e-mail series Get Bigger Than What’s Bugging You and practice the techniques regularly. The problem is, I’m not at all sure I have a Self-in-Presence. I’ve never been able to find and identify him.

How can I shift so that my Self-in-Presence is in the driver’s seat?

Dear Jim:

Self-in-Presence isn’t something you “have.” It’s something that you are… or can be.

And thank you for the question… because I hear from many people who face the same confusion.

Because Self-in-Presence is a way of being, and also an ability, we won’t be able to locate it somewhere either inside or outside ourselves.

Instead, using simple practices, we can BE Self-in-Presence… and cultivate that ability so that we can be Self-in-Presence more and more often, and even in situations that are challenging.

ONE: When you speak about your emotional states… especially in your self-talk… start your sentence with “I am sensing…”

Like this: “I am sensing how tired I am.”

TWO: When you would otherwise identify with your emotions (“I am anxious”) instead say “something in me…”

Like this: “Something in me is anxious.”

THREE: Put the two phrases together, starting with “I am sensing…”

Like this: “I am sensing something in me is anxious.”

FOUR: Now you can add: “And I am here with that.”

Try it! You don’t have to believe or find or feel any particular way first. The language itself can take you there.

But it does help to repeat it! Recently I had a very tense stomach when sitting on the tarmac waiting for the plane to take off. (Something in me doesn’t like flying very much.) So I said: “I am sensing something in me is scared.” I said it to my stomach. I added: “And I am here with you now.” No change. I said it again. And again. After maybe the fourth repetition, I felt my stomach relax.

And it stayed relaxed for the whole flight!