A Note:
I want to pause today and honor June 19th, the day that we in the U.S. commemorate the ending of slavery in this country. Standing up for what we believe and listening to our inner sense of rightness (and wrongness), as so many courageous activists have done, is a key part of bringing Focusing into practical application.
Is it safe to do Focusing? Read on…
Nadia writes:
I wonder about the safety of Focusing. Could something go wrong if I stay stuck in a really bad feeling? Could I end up re-traumatizing myself?
Dear Nadia:
The key to safety in Focusing… and in all methods of accompanying feelings, really… is to cultivate your ability to be Self-in-Presence.
In Focusing, you don’t just feel your bad feelings. You turn toward them. You accompany them. You are the one who is with them.
When you are aware of painful, challenging feelings, there is often an echo of a time in the past — when you were little — when those feelings were too much for you.
But that time is not now. Now, you have the capacity to be present for your feelings, no matter how painful. And that capacity can grow stronger the more you use it.
The simplest way to practice this skill is to say the words: “I am sensing something in me that is … feeling this bad (or whatever is true).”
“And I am letting it know that I am here with it.”
As Self-in-Presence, you have no need to fear your feelings, no need to struggle with them, no need to try not to feel them.
This is the environment in which even the most painful feelings can start to change. There is a deeper breath. There is fresh air. There is a kind of relief that can allow next steps to emerge.
And that’s the opposite of re-traumatizing. That’s one step toward the healing of trauma. It’s what all the parts inside you have been waiting for.
