Focusing Tip #861 – Strong Feelings – “What if I start crying in front of this other person?”

Is it OK to cry in front of your Focusing partner? Read on…

A Reader writes:

I’m very weepy these days. The smallest thing seems to touch off crying. I lost a number of family members in the last few years, and I think probably my weepiness is connected to that.

My question is about Focusing partnership. I worry that I’m going to start crying in front of this other person.

Dear Reader:

Crying is natural. If you’re grieving, it’s even more understandable that you need to cry from time to time. It sounds like you already know that.

It also sounds like something in you might be embarrassed about crying in front of another person.

That’s understandable too… but anyone who is around Focusing for very long has seen lots of crying!

In fact, I consider a box of tissues to be standard equipment for a Focusing session. Crying might happen… and we can welcome it.

What should a Focusing partner do if you’re a companion to a Focuser who is crying?

First: Be accepting and welcoming. That may not be anything you say, but it’s something you show in your attitude. Tears are welcome. Nothing scary is happening just because a person is crying.

Next: Maybe you’ll say something, like, “That’s touches tears.” But only if it feels right to do so.

And if the person is sobbing, then best not to say anything — they probably couldn’t hear you anyway. You can murmur softly, like “Mmm… Mmm.” Think about what kind of company you would like, if you were the one crying.

Focusing partnership is most of all being a person with another person. We can all do that!