Prior to Inner Relationship Focusing (IRF), I struggled with a range of challenges—physical pain and a chronic tendency to appease and please. My need to be liked and avoid conflict often came at a cost: abandoning myself. This pattern was one of many adaptive strategies I developed in childhood as a way of trying to keep the peace, stay safe and receive affection. Understanding that helped—but it didn’t change my behavior. I still kept going along to get along.
Thankfully, during my Somatic Experiencing Practitioner training, I was introduced to IRF. IRF’s gentle and empowering process helped me untangle these patterns and my body began to feel better. What once felt unchangeable—like I’d be forever stuck in these patterns and symptoms—began to shift.
As these shifts took root, I found myself acting differently. If something doesn’t feel right, then I simply don’t do it. I don’t push myself forward or guilt myself into action. I’m able to stay true to myself, even amidst criticism or pushback—with a sense of calm strength and steady ease.
Of course, it’s great to feel understood, but I don’t need it the way I once did. If someone gets me, great. If they don’t, that’s okay too. There’s this new attitude of “I get me,” which feels so empowering, energizing and freeing. Gone are the days of beating myself up and putting myself down.
These invigorating, beyond-what-I-thought-possible shifts inspired me to become a Certified IRF Professional and Trainer. No more career changes— this is what I am meant to be doing! I love helping clients go from feeling stuck, anxious and overwhelmed to living with more clarity, confidence and ease. It’s a joy to help them learn to value their feelings and trust themselves, so they can live more freely, fully and authentically.
And, because of my SE training, I bring a unique trauma-informed approach to facilitating IRF sessions.
I offer one-to-one sessions via Zoom and teach a variety of online courses. If what you’ve tried hasn’t led to lasting change, or you still feel stuck—let’s chat! Schedule a free call to explore working together at livingfully.org
