How can you tell the difference between parts and Self-in-Presence? Read on…
Petra writes:
I read your and Barbara’s book Untangling and I know I have a Tangle. You say it’s important to be Self-in-Presence with your parts. But I find it hard to see or feel or notice the difference between parts and Self-in-Presence. And I don’t even like the parts. And they don’t like each other.
Dear Petra:
Self-in-Presence is the capacity for being aware of something without reacting for or against it. It’s the ability to notice what you feel with simple curiosity.
Imagine looking at a flower in the garden. You could have many reactions. You might judge it, “That’s a bad flower.” You might wish it was a different flower. But what if you just see it… yes, there it is.
Being Self-in-Presence is like that simple awareness. “I am sensing this flower.”
To practice Self-in-Presence, I recommend you say, “I am sensing…” and then describe what you are sensing.
As you do that, you might recognize that you have started to like or dislike what you are describing.
For example, “I am sensing anger… and I hate my anger.”
So now there are two “somethings” for you as Self-in-Presence to acknowledge: “I am sensing something in me that’s angry AND I am sensing something in me that hates that anger.”
“And I am here, simply aware of both.”
So that’s my Tip. Be Self-in-Presence by noticing what you feel, and become aware of parts by noticing if it’s possible to simply be with how you feel.
I’m not saying it’s easy! It takes practice. But as in so many things, practice makes it easier. You can do this.
