What if you are listening to a part that’s in the way, and it has reason on its side? Read on…
Desiree writes:
I struggle with getting to sleep, so I did some Focusing with the part that doesn’t want to sleep. I found out it has an understandable point… It says I am too vulnerable at night with my contact lenses out.
How do I respond now?
Dear Desiree:
That’s a lovely process you are doing, listening to “the part that doesn’t want to.” I did that with my writer’s block many years ago, and it changed everything!
The truly life-changing moment is when you turn toward something in you that has been blocking you, and let it know you are curious. You’d like to get to know it better.
Maybe up until then you had been trying to fix it, resolve it, figure it out… and now you’re going to simply listen. This is a totally different kind of inner relationship, one of compassion and kindness, and it changes everything.
And you’ve got all that! Now you’re at the next step… where the part tells you its point of view and you hear that.
You might think, if it has an understandable reason for its behavior, then you ought to respond in some way. Or you might think, if it has an understandable reason then this won’t change.
But it’s not the reason that’s important. It’s that you are there, hearing it.
There is always a deeper level, that’s about what it is trying to prevent or protect you from… what it is not wanting to happen to you. In this case, it doesn’t want you to be vulnerable.
So your next step is to say to it, “I really get that you don’t want me to be vulnerable.” And then wait… and see if it can feel that you are there, understanding it. And there is more…
Process always has next steps. Inner relationship brings out new options. We just don’t know what they are… yet!
