What can you do when your felt senses don’t want to be looked at? Read on…
A Reader writes:
Whenever I try to do Focusing, my felt senses “disappear” or “clam up” whenever I bring my awareness to them. How do you handle that?
Dear Reader:
Maybe they’re feeling shy!
It’s true! Your felt senses can be like shy animals, peeking out of the woods to see if it’s safe to emerge.
Considering how society expects us to treat our felt senses, I have to say I don’t blame them! When I grew up, we were supposed to tell ourselves how to feel, and don’t you dare to feel any other way.
What a revelation it was to meet Focusing, and to discover that I could listen to my feelings instead of trying to get them into line (which, truthfully, never really worked very well).
Inner Relationship Focusing is not just about what you feel, it’s also about creating a safe environment for feelings to emerge.
You become that safe environment, moving as slowly and as softly as you’d move around a shy animal. Let it know it’s OK to be shy.
And if your felt sense has already disappeared, you can still talk to it. Say something like, “It’s OK to hide. Take your time. I’ll be right here when you’re ready to appear again.”
And wait. When you let your process be how it is, and be patient and gentle, you’ll be amazed at how much can come.
