Focusing Tip #729 – “After Focusing, I felt no relief”

Focusing Tip #729 – “After Focusing, I felt no relief”
November 11, 2020 Ann Weiser Cornell
If you have a feeling like a wall inside, and it won't talk to you, what can you do? Read on...

Focusing Tip #729 – “After Focusing, I felt no relief”

If you have a feeling like a wall inside, and it won’t talk to you, what can you do? Read on…


Michelle writes:

When I focused today I felt a heaviness below my breast bone. Upon investigation, waiting and listening, it seemed there was a wall. The wall was acknowledged. I waited with it and asked if there was something it would like me to do, or did it want me to be with it. It said nothing. It seemed to want to be left alone.

Is there more I can do when it arises again? Is there something more I can ask? I did not feel relief or more spaciousness. I felt just as uncomfortable as when I began.

Dear Lena:

First I want to say, how wonderful already that you felt a heaviness below your breastbone and it seemed there was a wall.

This is already a lot of inner communication, and some people have a hard time getting this much! So let’s pause and appreciate. You were doing great so far.

But then you asked if there was something it would like you to do, or did it want you to be with it. I’m not surprised that nothing came in response. Why? The key is relationship.

We need to cultivate relationship before we can expect communication.

It’s not so much what you say to it. It’s more of an inner feeling of “sitting down with it.” Just being with it. Do that until you know how it itself is feeling, even if it doesn’t say anything.

Do you know what it’s like to be with a friend who isn’t speaking? You can still tell what mood your friend is in. That’s what we want next. Not asking questions but first just being there… and then sensing how it feels. Its mood.

“It said nothing.” Right! These inner places are unlikely to speak. We know them through their feelings. (And sometimes they send images as well.) Maybe it’s sad… or determined… or apprehensive. When you do sense how it feels, let it know you get it.

If you don’t try to get past a wall, it can show you a lot about what it is guarding or preventing. But only if you are willing to take the time to make a relationship with it… of respect and empathy. That makes all the difference.


Other Tips You May Find Helpful

Focusing Tip #625 – The timid and shy parts of you (Opens in a new browser tab)

Focusing Tip #714 – Does my emotion belong to Self-in-Presence or a Part? (Opens in a new browser tab)

How To Shift Stressful Feelings (Opens in a new browser tab)

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