Establishing Healthy Boundaries Through Inner Relationship Focusing

When was the last time you said yes to something you really wanted to say no to?

When your boss asked you to work overtime…again? Or when your partner wanted to go out to dinner when you really just wanted to cozy up at home? Or a friend asked you to watch their high-maintenance dog when you were already feeling overwhelmed?

It happens! And it can be hard to navigate the emotions that come up when someone makes a request you’re not up for (whether it’s a reasonable request or not).

That’s why setting and maintaining healthy personal boundaries is a core way to support your emotional health.

Healthy boundaries help you feel safe and respected, maintain your sense of self, and avoid emotional exhaustion and burnout. Plus, they actually improve your relationships!

With IRF, you’re better able to identify your needs, recognize your boundaries, and communicate those boundaries in a clear and compassionate way. And when your boundaries are challenged, you have a process to help you find a calm, clear way forward.

On this page, we have a number of resources to help you create and maintain healthy boundaries.

Courses to Help with Boundaries
Articles and Videos on IRF and Boundaries

“Every no is really a yes to something else.”

– Ann Weiser Cornell

Courses to Help You Create and Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Getting Started with Healthy Boundaries

With this free mini-course, you’ll:

  • Learn how to tell if your needs are getting pushed aside
  • Discover what a healthy boundary looks like and how simple they can be
  • Understand what you’re saying yes to when you say no (and how this helps you communicate better with others)

Join Ann to Get Started with Healthy Boundaries

Get immediate access to our free mini-course:

21 Days to Healthier Boundaries

21 Days to Healthier Boundaries

21 Days of Online Video Trainings + Online Community

Is it hard to put your own needs first sometimes? With this course, you’ll receive practical support and guidance to help you finally set boundaries you can feel good about.

$97.00
Learn More and Register Here
21 days to better boundaries ebook

21 Days to Better Boundaries
by Ann Weiser Cornell

Paperback | eBook | Audiobook

If you want a straightforward, step-by-step process you can use to be empowered setting your boundaries, to feel less guilt, frustration, or fear, then 21 Days to Better Boundaries is for you. With this book, you’ll learn to identify healthy boundaries and develop the skills to set them with kindness and clarity.

Buy on Amazon Find Out More

Videos to Help With Healthy Boundaries

From Ann’s Blog: Articles and Tips for Support for Healthy Boundaries

“I find conversations with my family of origin tend to be very one-sided...”

Focusing Tip #835 – “I am the only one in my family who listens…”

What if the people in your family don’t show any interest in you or your feelings? Read on…

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

Why Do I Say Yes to Everything?

I want to share with you what I’ve learned about why I said Yes to everything, and invite you to check if some of this fits for you too.

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

“I'm confused with this because sometimes we don't do what the part wants, but we do acknowledge that it wants it...”

Focusing Tip #842 – Parts and Boundaries

Do you ever give parts what they ask for? Read on…

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

If you’re wondering what setting a boundary even looks like, you’re not alone!

An exercise with Ann to help you figure out what your own boundaries might be.

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

“The sensation of feeling guilty is often present in my life...”

Focusing Tip #857 – Boundaries and Self-Love – “I feel guilty that my life is better than my sister’s”

What can you do if you are haunted by a feeling of guilt for something that’s not your fault? Read on…

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

Shifting how it feels when someone says No to you.

Do you wish you could set healthy boundaries without guilt and without hurting your relationships?

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

Do you have a hard time saying no?

Discovering what you’re saying yes to when you need to say no…

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

What do we do with those 'helpful' messages from other people that show up in our thoughts?

Focusing Tip #635 – “This inner message is not my own…”

What do we do with those ‘helpful’ messages from other people that show up in our thoughts? Read on…

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.

Setting Boundaries with Family

Families can be great! But family relationships can also feel like sticky webs of guilt and obligation.

Click here to read Ann’s Tip.