Focusing is not just a method or a technique — it is a way of being. It’s a way of being with yourself in such a way that you sense the whole of what you’re going through. Sensing the whole of it — the “felt sense” of it — lets you have it in a way that being in the middle of it doesn’t allow. As Gendlin used to say when I was helping him teach: “You can’t smell the soup if you stick your head in it!”
We laughed… but in the years since then that statement has become more and more profound!
Tips for Focusing Alone
Take a walk with Focusing!
I find that taking a walk by myself is an idea time to do some Focusing. Especially if I’m “chewing” on something, if something is troubling me or puzzling me, taking a walk with it is a great way to do some unpressured Focusing. I can stop and smell the flowers, even while I’m being with “something” inside…
It’s great to remember that Focusing alone doesn’t have to be as concentrated into one space as when you Focus with a partner. You can even carry “something” around with you all day, checking in with it at intervals, like cooking a pot on the back of the stove.
Tips for Focusing with a Partner
Remember you can start your Focusing by just inviting your body to give you a sense of what wants your awareness now… or you can start with a particular issue and invite your body’s sense of how that feels. No matter how much you already know about this life issue or situation, your body always allows a fresh sense of that whole thing. When you allow that sense to form, you are actually already changing the situation. And you may well be able to feel that in your body as well… the already slightly changed feeling that comes because you’ve sensed the whole thing. Amazing!
By the way, I have a list of seven people who are looking for Focusing partners… just email me to put yourself on the list and I’ll send you a copy of the whole list.