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An Inner Relationship
Our experienced world is relational. No one is alone. “No man is an island,” the poet John Donne wrote. We live immersed in language and action, and our inter-relationships with others permeate our lives.
Yet we are also capable of an inner relationship that enhances and improves those outer relationships. The inner relationship is a deep listening to what we feel, how we are, what we (and various parts of us) need and want.
My own journey with the Focusing process has been a journey of getting to know myself more and more deeply, an embodied knowing of how I am from moment to moment.
This inner relationship has vastly improved every other relationship in my life.
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This week, Brigitte of Australia writes: “Ann, do YOU speak out loud when Focusing alone… what do YOU do?”
First, if I don’t have a partner to Focus with when I need to Focus, I take a walk. The rhythm of walking helps me stay with myself. Walking wouldn’t work if my felt sense were too subtle, but then I wouldn’t need to Focus. So this is for times of urgency, when I need to be with this right now.
While walking, I will say out loud the self-instructions.
“I’m inviting a sense of all this.”
“I’m sensing how to describe it.” and so on.
That helps me stay on track.
A useful list of self-instructions can be found on page 44 of my book The Power of Focusing.