What is different about Focusing? Allowing a felt sense to form is already a relief to the problem!
What Brings Relief and Release
How is it that allowing a felt sense to form is already a relief to the problem? Why do we see a Focusing person smile and relax when finding an exactly-right name for what they feel, even when it is something awful?
Try it yourself: a felt sense is a body sense of “all that,” the whole issue or situation you’re dealing with. You’ll need to pause, take time, and sense inwardly, in order to let this sense form. When it comes, it may well be unclear, hard to define or describe. That’s good!
And then stay with it, just sensing it as it is, and slowly describing how it feels, with words, images, sounds, gestures…
Like the satisfaction of remembering a word you had forgotten, finding the just-right description usually feels like a relief, and may come with further insights and a sense of forward movement.
Language is Important
Finding this “just right” description is called “Finding the Handle,” and it already feels like relief and change. Although images, sounds, and gestures are possible, the Handle is usually in words. Words are powerful!
As a Focusing partner, your words are also powerful. Notice the difference between:
“How would you describe that?”
and
“Take some time to sense how you would describe that.”
Which one feels more facilitative?
If you want to know more, you can read my article “Questioning Questions,” which also appears in my new book.
https://www.focusingresources.com/articles/questioning.html
