May 23 2006

Distractions Are Us

At the start of a Focusing session, I like to take some time to sense my body. It’s not the only way to start, but it’s my favorite way, because otherwise I’m just barreling down my usual track, thinking thinking thinking! Taking time to sense my arms and hands, legs and feet, the contact of my body on what I’m sitting on… allows a shift of state, into a slower, quieter, more receptive relationship with my inner experience.

So when I’m slowing down and sensing into my body, and thoughts show up and pull me back to “ordinary time,” I call that getting distracted. The label “distracted” is saying that something out-of-place is happening — my agenda is to go into my body, and I’m having thoughts instead.

But what if nothing out-of-place is happening! What if all is in order, the process is unfolding just as it should, and the process can be trusted!

Labeling part of our process “a distraction” is sort of like calling an innocent plant a “weed” just because it doesn’t fit our plan!

The word “distraction” seems to imply that what is happening is not relevant to the purpose. But of course it IS relevant… because it is happening now.

Three Ways Distractions Are Relevant

Right now I can think of three ways that so-called distractions can be relevant — and there may be more!

First, these may be messages from parts of us that need acknowledging before we can settle down. For this type it can be helpful to have a pad of paper nearby, to jot down things that need to be remembered later. I don’t know why the part of me that want to remember to buy milk needs to come just as I’m starting my Focusing session! — perhaps it’s because my more relaxed state is allowing in more aspects of my awareness. But so it is… and writing a note to myself is usually enough to handle this type of “distraction.”

Second, it may be that some part of me is not wanting to settle down to go inside. This could even be something in me that is scared of what I might find in my Focusing today. Instead of coming out and saying that it is scared, it protects by pulling awareness away from the body and out into everything else: the dripping faucet, the hum of the refrigerator, what I want for lunch… and of course it itself needs acknowledgment and a friendly guess: “Hello, might you be worried or afraid about Focusing today?” This could be where the session starts to deepen again.

And third, perhaps later in the session, what is called “thinking” may actually be the way the process is coming. When I’ve been sitting for a while with something sad and scared, and it’s not moving or saying much else, and then I start seeing scenes from my life today or from my past… those memories might well be what this part of me is showing me, about what is getting it so sad and scared. Images at this stage might function in this same way. If we receive them as communications, they make so much more sense.

So let’s start with the radical acceptance of everything, and assume that what is called “distraction” is actually something that comes for some good reason. From that assumption, we can find out what that good reason might be, and the Focusing flows forward.