Focusing with Intense Pain
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Su writes: "I am interested in information on Focusing with intense pain – like the other week when I had a fever, or when I have cramps. It’s often really difficult to even just open a space to allow the pain to be in, let alone focus on it and have a dialogue with it. Yet I know it needs to tell me something otherwise it wouldn’t be happening."
Dear Su
I love it when pain is intense! I know that might sound like a crazy statement… but for me, intense pain is so simple: I can’t NOT pay attention to it. It is calling SO much for my attention, so what is simple is to give it what it is wanting.
If possible I close my eyes and get into a comfortable position so I can bring my complete attention to the pain. Then I let go of the word "pain" and meet it without words. If I need any word, I use the word "sensation." "There is a sensation, and I’m sensing into it." I feel myself sinking into it, feeling it as intensely as it wants to be felt. At the same time I am sensing "what it’s like," tasting its qualities.
The time I burned my arm on an electric teakettle, after I ran cold water on the burn, I went to bed (it was late at night) and just sank into the sensation, surrendering to it and sensing what it was like. It was quite intense. The word was "sizzling." Soon after I got that word, I fell asleep. In the morning, there was no pain. The burn went through a healing process over the next few weeks, including forming a blister full of fluid and then releasing the fluid. It never hurt again. Within a month there was no scar or redness.
If I hadn’t done years of Focusing, I doubt if I could have done this simple process of awareness. I would have had too many parts of me afraid and worried about the pain, what it meant, would it be all right, would feeling the pain make it worse… all that. Because I’ve had so much practice coming into Presence — and because the pain of the burn was so all-absorbing — I was able to keep my attention simple: just feeling it, as it was. I actually felt a kind of joy that night, as I sensed into the sensation. I could feel IT soaking up my attention, wanting my attention, soaking it up like a dry plant soaking up water.
Last week I had a worsening eye condition. I don’t know what the diagnosis would have been; I don’t know what caused it. I just know that the redness at the side of the eye was increasing daily, and my eye was tearing a lot. But I wouldn’t call it pain, it wasn’t an intense sensation. And because of that, I really had to concentrate in order to do Focusing with it. Strangely, it was harder to be with than the burn had been!
In order to be with the eye sensation, I needed to first acknowledge three other parts of me. (1) There was a part that was ashamed, and afraid other people were drawing back from me because of the eye thing. (2) There was a part that was blaming me for probably doing something stupid to cause it. (3) There was a part of me that just wanted it gone. I spent a lot of time acknowledging those parts, and actually did a whole Focusing session with the part that felt ashamed in front of others. When I sensed what it was wanting for me — deep connection with others — I felt my body relaxing. I was able to go back to the sensation in the eye.
Three more times that day I did Focusing with the eye, twice with a partner and once alone, about fifteen minutes each time. Just sensing it as it was, describing what I sensed. No need for it to be different. I felt that same quality that I felt with the burn: that IT was glad I was there.
The next day, for the first time, the eye condition began to improve. Five days later, the skin beside my eye could be touched without discomfort. When I finally got to the doctor’s appointment I had made, the doctor said, "This is getting well on its own, we don’t need to give you anything." Today, about two weeks after my day of Focusing with the eye, there is just a little dryness at the side of the eye, that’s all.
The body knows how to heal. Once we do what we can (I ran cold water over the burn), then we can bring awareness to the sensation, awareness that doesn’t pull back with fear, awareness that is simple and innocent, just sensing. Healing happens in that environment of awareness. It isn’t MADE to happen; it just happens.
Are Decisions Hard?
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A time of decision is a time of opportunity. You’re pulled in at least two different directions – which is right? Or sometimes there is a feeling that life isn’t changing enough, you are stagnating, stuck… and if only you could make a decision to change… but something is in the way. Decisions don’t have to pull you apart – they CAN pull you together again! In this workshop, you will discover how to hear and feel what each side is wanting for you. You will find out why it often doesn’t feel like there is any good solution – and what to do then!
My popular phone course on Focusing and Decisions is being offered again starting November 8 for 5 Thursdays (no meeting November 22) at 4:00 PM to 6:00 PM Pacific time… 7:00-9:00 PM Eastern time… Friday mornings in New Zealand and Australia…
