Can Self-in-Presence be happy that something changed?
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Susan writes: "I have heard the warning about being aware of a
part of me that wants to fix or change another part. I have read
the parts in the Focusing Student's and Companion's Manual that talk about that ("turning off the power switch without checking first if it wants to be turned off" is
one example). Often in my Focusing a story unfolds, and sometimes the
story goes to a solution – for instance a small rowboat in a big ocean becomes
a BIG sailboat that can better handle the ocean, bringing delighted excitement
to the part that was once fearful. Well, that can't be bad, can it?
I am not aware of MAKING that change, but this one part is very happy it
happened.
Dear Susan,
Isn't it
wonderful when things change in the way they need to change? And isn't
it wonderful when change comes organically, comes from within, with a
wisdom that couldn't be imposed?
Think about kids. They grow,
they develop, they explore. How did my daughter get passionate about
healing animals? I don't know–it came in her. I wouldn't have known to
plant that in her, even if I could.
And I'm delighted. Not because I always wanted her to become a veterinarian, but because I always wanted her to become herself,
to find and follow her own way. If she switched her major tomorrow,
guided by an inner sense of rightness, I would be just as delighted. I
want to see HER develop, not to see some particular outcome.
That's
how we are toward our Focusing process when we are Self-in-Presence.
When there is a shift, when there is carrying forward, when development
comes, it feels like a "wow!" in the body, because we are in favor of
whatever the forward way is. Not some particular outcome, but whatever
is forward.
Susan, when you were Focusing and what you sensed
was a small rowboat in a big ocean, you stayed with that. You gave it
space and company, and then IT become a big sailboat. You didn't (I
know) think, "Let's see what this needs to be" and then make it into a
big sailboat. THAT would be the making-fixing stance that the Manual
warns about. What you did was fine… including celebrating the change.