“Ever since the accident, I feel nausea whenever I get in my car.”
Serena writes:
“I recently had a car accident. When I drove in my car afterward, I felt pain in the neck and headache and nausea, which have been more or less continuing for about three weeks. I have been getting treatment to alleviate the tension and spasm in the neck and upper body, and there is improvement there. But the nausea is getting worse.
“After experiencing a profound relaxation during a cranial sacral session, as I got back into the car the nausea and headache became stronger then ever. I stopped the car, found that still place inside again and Focused. What I heard was: I don’t feel safe (in the car and beyond). I couldn’t even find another part of me able to say: you are safe.
“Today I woke up feeling good, drove five minutes to get a massage and in that short time I got nausea. During the massage I felt fine and noticed my body more receptive to it then it had been. As I came home I had (and still have hours later) a big nausea, and then felt my legs and arms become quite shaky, to the point that standing and walking became uncomfortable. Just like before, no thought or feelings went with it. But I remember being told about similar experiences after another accident years ago, that it is a panic attack.
“I am not sure how to deal with it… it is uncomfortable and sort of confusing and scary to feel that treatments that help my body relax, bring about this sort of unexpected out-of-control responses. Any suggestion?”
Dear Serena,
I’m so sorry you’re going through this puzzling and difficult time. I trust you are working with doctors and getting the professional care you need.
I have an idea. You might not like it…but this is what comes to me.
You did Focusing, and the place inside said, “I don’t feel safe in the car (and beyond).” You didn’t even find another part of you saying “You are safe.”
What if you promise that one that you won’t go in a car until it lets you know that it feels safe enough?
This might really change your lifestyle! People would have to come to you. I think grocery stores will make deliveries.
I’m not talking about giving up on driving. I’m talking about continuing to do Focusing every day, being very accepting, no pushing, just staying with the feel of the physical sensation and being Self-in-Presence for the part of you that doesn’t feel safe.
It’s important that you are there, that the scared part can feel your steadiness, your calm, your strength.
I wouldn’t suggest telling it that it is safe. I would suggest instead telling it that you will be with it every step of the way, as soon as it is ready. And then stay with it.
Every day you invite it to get in the car, and show it your own calm about that. Maybe at first just standing near the car, not getting in. Then perhaps getting in the car but not starting the motor. Maybe on the next day you’ll get in and start the motor. The key is staying in contact with the part, inviting it to come with you, but letting it stop as long as it needs to.
If you are very respectful and calm, and do Focusing a lot, this might not take as long as you think.