“There are only feelings in my body. When will I find out what they mean?”
Maria writes:
When I am Focusing there are often only feelings and shifts in my body. When will I find out what they mean? I thought I would learn something about myself, or discover an action to do, but usually I don’t.
Dear Maria:
Thank you for writing! People say that Focusing is feeling in your body…but then those body feelings seem to give you nothing new, or no action steps, or no insights. What then?
Some people can bring awareness to body feelings, and move effortlessly from there to insights and action steps. But most of us – including me – are lost, if the only instruction is “Now feel your body.”
The first thing I would suggest is that you start your Focusing session with a life issue, like a decision, or a relationship issue, or something you feel blocked about.
The felt sense of Focusing is not just any body sensation, it is a body sensation that is about something. You were saying that when you start by feeling body sensations, it can be hard to feel what they are about.
Then start with the “about”!
Like this: “I’m bothered about my relationship with Tony. I’m going to bring awareness into my body and get a fresh body feeling about the relationship with Tony.”
Once you have a body feeling, resist the temptation to guess what it means. Instead, just describe and stay with what you are actually feeling. Your contact with what you are feeling will deepen slowly, as a sense of trust develops between you and your body’s felt sense.
If you’re still unsure, I’d recommend having a guided session, because then someone can coach you on how to move from a feeling to its meaning.
