“Does it feel like you are too overloaded and stressed to do the good things that would help you not be so overloaded and stressed?”
Ginny writes:
So many parts of my life feel out of control. I have demands from my family, demands from my work… and it seems like no time for me. But even when I have time to do something healthy for me, like exercise or meditate, I seem to blow it by becoming an immovable blob in front of TV. I’m trying to decide if Focusing will help me, or if it will become just one more good-for-me thing I don’t do.
Dear Ginny:
I’m hearing from so many people these days who are in this same situation. We’re in high stress mode all the time–and when we’re that overloaded, it’s hard to de-stress and take care of ourselves.
So then we’re depleted and have even less energy and capacity to deal with our lives. And the saddest thing of all is that in that depleted state we don’t even have what it takes to nourish ourselves.
The good news is that Focusing is different from most other methods in a couple of ways that will make it easier for you to find the time and the will to do it.
And yes… Focusing really really helps! In any situation of stress, Focusing helps you be calmer, more alert, more grounded, more available. Here are two important things about bringing Focusing into your stressful life:
(1) You can do it in moments.
Just a few moments of pausing and acknowledging how you are feeling, already brings some relief. If you have time to feel it in your body and put a gentle hand there — more relief. Over the course of a day these little moments of relief add up to a different perspective on all that you are facing.
(2) You can do it with a friend.
When I first learned Focusing, I was the kind of person who put off things that were good for me, but always did things for others. The magic for me was that we did Focusing in pairs. Half the time was for the other person, and half was for me. I started the session thinking I was just doing it for them… and then finished the time feeling refreshed, lighter, clear, and in love with Focusing.
Because you can do Focusing in moments, and you can do it with a friend, it doesn’t have the same burdens on it as a whole exercise class for example. I love exercise… but to get myself there, I often have to do Focusing first!
