Focusing Tip #535
What can you do if you feel overwhelmingly sad and you don’t want to feel that way?
Ann Marie writes:
Often I get days where I feel sad, even overwhelmed, accompanied by a lot of tears. Obviously something has been awakened in me. While I am able to be with these feelings (as best I can), part of me does not want to feel this way and also part of me wants to know what has been awakened in me. Any tips?
Dear Ann Marie:
I like how you say, “Obviously something has been awakened in me.” You are being compassionate to the feelings, understanding they have a good reason to be there, even before you know what that reason is.
And I also appreciate that you are aware that “not wanting to feel this way” is a part of you. Now let’s take the next step and turn toward that part with compassion as well. You can say, “Something in me is sad, and something in me doesn’t want to feel this way… and I am here with both.”
“I am here with both” is a very powerful thing to say because you are showing up as Self-in-Presence, living your capacity to be with anything inside you.
The part that doesn’t want to feel this way needs the first turn to be heard because otherwise, it will be harder for you to be fully present to the one in you who is sad.
After you listen to the worry of the part not wanting to feel this way, you’ll be able to be with the one in you who is sad.
The next step is to sense how it would like you to be with it. You will probably feel a message like, “Just be with me,” even if it doesn’t talk.
If you give compassion and company to the one in you that has the feelings (the one in you that was “awakened” by something), eventually it will let you know what awakened it. But only if you don’t ask! Because it doesn’t like to be pushed…