Janet writes:
Can our Self-in-Presence be wounded? Is that why we have developed parts that feel they need to protect/defend/hide from us? How would we address this or even begin to understand how this would affect us?
Dear Janet:
We have definitely developed “parts” because we have been wounded. But it takes more than a traumatic event or traumatic lack to lead to the development of parts.
It’s when something hard/painful/bad happened to us AND we then didn’t get the emotional support we needed to heal from it. That’s what gives rise to parts… critical parts, rebellious parts, anxious parts, needy parts… And all of those parts entangled, trying to protect us the best they can but failing to fully succeed.
We carry the “wounds” from those early times, the unhealed hurts. They affect our lives in big and little ways.
Here is the good news: Healing is still possible. Whenever we receive what we would have needed then, healing can happen.
And now we can give it to ourselves! We do that by cultivating our ability to be Self-in-Presence, to be the strong, compassionate self who can turn toward anything in us that needs attention.
Your question was whether Self-in-Presence can be wounded. I’d rather say that you were wounded… and you carry the wounds in your body… and with the wounds you carry the potential for them to heal in the right conditions.
Self-in-Presence is our ability to offer ourselves those right conditions. Sometimes it is hard to be Self-in-Presence. We feel we are struggling. But just notice that it is hard. Then you are on your way to being Self-in-Presence again.
