Focusing Tip #612 – “I don’t feel big enough to take care of a child part of me”

What if you feel too small and inadequate to be a compassionate listener to yourself? Read on…

A Reader writes:

I get to the place in Focusing where I am supposed to be compassionate to an inner child part. But I don’t feel I am “enough” to do that. I wish someone would take care of me… and instead I am supposed to take care of this inner part of me. I’m supposed to be a “big self,” but I don’t feel big. I feel like a child myself.

Dear Reader:

Yes, I hear that! At those times, at those moments, you feel like a child yourself.

No wonder it feels like too much, if you are asked to give compassion and caring when you feel too small… when you feel like the one in need of care!

If I were sitting with you in a Focusing session, here is what I would say to you:

“Maybe you and I can be with that one in you who feels like not enough and in need of care.”

You don’t have to feel big or strong or grown-up. You just need to say to that “younger you” inside: “I am here with you.”

Just to be really clear: I mean you are being with the one in you who says, “I am not enough, I wish someone would take care of me.” You don’t have to be big in order to do that. Just put your hand on your heart… and you are there.

—

Practitioner tip: If you are working with a client who says this kind of thing to you, try including yourself in the invitations, as in “Maybe you and I can be with the hurting place inside.” or “Let’s take time to be with that.”

Other Focusing tips you might find helpful.

A part of me feels young, non-verbal, and very stuck

“I am wondering if doing too much Focusing will make those parts resistant to change.”