Of course you want to actually change your life! Read on…
Alena writes:
I’m new to Focusing (but I’ve read 3 of your books recently!), and I have the following question: Can Focusing bring actual changes in the external world, as opposed to just making me feel better about my life?
For example, I want to have a good income, while also having a lot of freedom. But I’ve no idea how to make it happen. Everything I’ve tried so far has failed. It seems like I can have either money or freedom, but not both. But the thought of having to choose between them makes me feel depressed.
Can Focusing actually help me get both? (If so, how?) I don’t want to just feel better about not having what I want. I want to actually have it.
Dear Alena:
Such a good question! And so important! Because if Focusing couldn’t actually change our lives, what good would it be, really?
You are talking about having new possibilities in your life, that are more than the choices you see in front of you right now. And that is exactly what Focusing helps with!
When I look at my life now… my loving life-partner, my thriving business, the way I get paid to travel to beautiful places and meet wonderful people… That is ALL because of Focusing. Really! Because before I started practicing Focusing, I was tied up in knots about relationship, money, willingness to be seen, fear of being criticized if I expressed myself… Even those books you’ve recently read would never have been written without Focusing.
So you want to have a good income and have lots of freedom.
That’s a good start… to know what you want!
You can approach this using Focusing in a number of ways. Here are some suggestions that involve what you invite at the start of your Focusing session:
- You could invite the part of you that wants a lot of freedom. Remember the times you have had this. Let your body give you the feeling of it. Ask the feeling what it wants FOR YOU from feeling this way.
- Then do the same with the part that wants a good income. Perhaps do these two on different days so you are really fully listening to each one, without a bias.
- Be alert to examples – in the world around you – of people who have the kind of life you want. Then have a Focusing session in which sense in your body what it would be like to live that kind of life. I’m not so much talking about the specific profession but about the feeling quality, what it feels like to live that way.
- Especially be alert to feelings and thoughts like: “I could never do that.” or “That’s not me.” Then you have another interesting Focusing process to explore “something in you” that says you could never do that.
When we do inner work like this, new possibilities open up in the external world. The world becomes a place where more is possible. I know that sounds strange, but it’s absolutely true!
