Focusing Tip #625 – The timid and shy parts of you

Do you want to help the shy parts of you feel safe enough to speak? Read on…

Michelle writes:

I’m curious if you can say a few words about the parts in us that are timid and shy, afraid to speak, but so need to be heard. I’m aware of them from time to time, but I’m wondering if there is facilitative language that will help them feel more welcome and more willing to talk and share.

Dear Michelle:

You’re already doing very well if you are aware of parts of you that are timid and shy and afraid to speak. Many of us just ignore those quiet and shy parts of us… because they are easy to skip over.

And yet of course if we keep on ignoring them, we are missing out on something precious and important. Often the very parts of us that try to fade into the background are holding the key to healing and change.

So let’s find ways to help them feel a bit safer! And, as you say, more welcome.

The tip that I have for you is this. When you find a part of you that is afraid to speak (or express itself even if it doesn’t speak), let it know it doesn’t have to.

“You can be the way you are for as long as you need to be.”

It’s often the pressure to speak (or express somehow) that is the scariest for these shy parts. So let’s take the pressure off right away. “You don’t have say anything, I’ll just be with you as you are.”

When you say this to a shy part, you may feel an inner objection. “Wait a minute! If it’s OK for this part to keep quiet forever, then my life will never move forward!”

Great! It’s wonderful to get in touch with this other part that is impatient with the shy one. You can now acknowledge both of them. “I am sensing something in me that is shy, AND I am sensing something in me that wants it to speak. And I am here with both.”

After the “pushing” part has been acknowledged, your inner world is a much safer place for the shy parts… and I predict you will find them coming forward in this more welcoming inner space like delicate flowers blossoming in the spring.