Focusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in”

Focusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in”
July 28, 2021 Ann Weiser Cornell
Blame people for this

Focusing Tip #762 – “I blame other people for the mess we’re in”

Do you find yourself caught in thinking that other people are causing your problems? Read on…


A Reader writes:

Things were getting better, and now they’re getting worse again. That’s how it seems anyway. And I find myself continually thinking about the people who I blame for this situation, yelling at them in my mind.

I’m getting more and more stressed. What can I do differently?

Dear Reader:

It’s tough when we start feeling hope after a long period of contraction, only to have things go the other way.

We’ve had so much uncertainty as well, contradictory messages, confusing advice. Hardly anything is more stressful than uncertainty!

Disappointment plus uncertainly can often result in looking for someone to blame… because part of us thinks, if we can blame someone or some group for our hard times, maybe life will feel a bit more in some kind of control.

I know, I’ve been feeling this way too. I get all worked up at the people that seem to be the problem. It doesn’t actually help me feel better. After all, I have no influence whatsoever over those people.

So when I realize what’s going on, I pause.

I turn my attention toward my body. I feel my breathing getting deeper.

I say, “I am sensing something in me is mad at those other people. Something in me thinks this is all their fault.”

And then I say “Hello I know you’re there” to this part of me that is blaming others.

I say, “I’m here with you now, I’m listening.”

Already now, everything has changed. Instead of sending attacking energy outward, I’m sending compassionate energy inward. I’m being gentle to myself.

I’m getting closer to the source in me, the place that really needs company. The scared child who finds all of this uncertainty just too much. I can let a gentle hand go to my heart. I can be with her.

Now the whole world looks different. It’s still a place where hard things happen. But now, I’m finding resources within myself. I can be curious about what needs my attention, and do what needs to be done… without as much stress.

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