Focusing Tip #767 – Do compliments make you uncomfortable?

Focusing Tip #767 – Do compliments make you uncomfortable?
September 15, 2021 Ann Weiser Cornell
“I go numb and freeze when someone offers me a compliment...”

Focusing Tip #767 – Do compliments make you uncomfortable?

Do you wonder why receiving a compliment gives you a freeze reaction? Read on…

Mary writes:

I notice I go numb and freeze when someone offers me a compliment. What do you think that’s all about?

Dear Mary:

You’re doing great already, by noticing that the freezing and going numb has something to do with being offered a compliment.

And you’re curious about it! That’s another great step.

What do I think? I think you’re right. The freezing and going numb IS about receiving the compliment, somehow.

Learning what that’s about is going to come from your own process. Let me offer you some ways to find out:

ONE. Use the Language of Acknowledging. “I am sensing something in me freezes and goes numb when I’m offered a compliment.” The reason to do this is so you have a relationship with the part of you that freezes and goes numb.

TWO. Take some time to sense that part of you. Given time, you’ll feel it in your body, or you’ll feel it somewhere.

THREE. Be gentle with it. It’s a younger part of you. It’s not trying to hurt you.

FOUR. Say to it, “So there’s something about being offered a compliment…” and then wait. You’re not exactly asking a question. You’re just sensing into this “something about.”

Another part of you may get impatient and try to guess the answer, but then you still don’t know, you’re only guessing.

You can trust there is a good reason… and you can trust that your process knows the answer. It just needs you to give it time, patience, and sensing.


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