Focusing Tip #812 – “Can I write a letter to my worried part?”

When you have a worried part, how can you tell it that you have heard its worries? Read on…

AJ writes:

Yesterday before sleep I had an unusual (for me) “attack” by the inner critic, or something in me that worries. Today I wrote down all the worries that came to my mind yesterday. Then I wrote an answer — a letter to my inner critic/inner worrier. I acknowledged its feelings, allowed them to be, and thanked it for caring about me, I showed understanding that it wants to help me by pointing out some possible issues.

As I haven’t heard anywhere about it, I wanted to ask, can writing a letter to your inner part who want attention be considered as a Focusing practice? Maybe there even is a specific technique related to it?

Dear Reader:

I think it’s brilliant of you to write a letter to your worrying part! And I really like what you said to it.

You didn’t tell it to change its feelings, or explain that it was mistaken. You simply heard it and appreciated it. Beautiful!

Now, for this to be a Focusing process, we need a few more steps.

Most important, we need a way to check with the part whether it feels you heard and understood it.

For this, I’d recommend taking some quiet time and bringing your awareness to your body. Remember the worried voice of this anxious part, and invite it to be with you now.

You might also remember the incident that stirred it up. After all, this part might not be worried about that any more!

Although you are feeling in your body, you might also be aware of this part as an image or as a “presence,” as in “I feel it on the left side of my head.”

Once you become aware of it, check with it what you wrote in your letter, and sense if it is feeling understood by you.

The Inner Relationship Focusing process needs a present time relationship, sensing, listening, checking with it, and sensing again. But writing a letter can definitely be a part of that!