What if you want to be feeling something, and nothing comes? Read on…
A Reader writes:
I’m taking my first Focusing class and I love it… except for one thing. When I start my Focusing session, I feel like I’m waiting a long time for something to show up. I start to get impatient and worried that I can’t do this. I worry that my Focusing partner will get impatient too.
Dear Reader:
When I take someone through Focusing for the first time, it sometimes happens like this: the person brings awareness into the body… there is a long pause… and then the person says, “I’m not getting anything.”
I say, “Ah! So maybe you’re feeling something nice, like peaceful or relaxed.”
Why do I say that? Because I know they are feeling something. But they are not feeling what they expected to feel. So they say “I’m not getting anything.”
You are always feeling something — even if it’s only the warm contentment of being a living body. Almost always you are feeling the situation you are in, as well.
What is it like, to be sitting with a Focusing partner, sensing in your own body, waiting for something to show up?
(And by the way, what needs attention might not need to show up — because it’s already there!)
After I say, “So maybe you’re feeling something nice, like peaceful or relaxed,” one of two things will happen.
- The person may say, “Yes, it IS feeling peaceful in my body right now.” Then I invite them to enjoy that feeling, and describe it even more… and the session has started.
- The person may say, “Well, actually… no. There’s this discomfort in my __.” It seems they hadn’t noticed the discomfort (or whatever) until they brought in the idea that things might be peaceful.
You could try this too, dear Reader. Just say to yourself, “Maybe I’m feeling something nice, like peaceful or relaxed.” And notice what happens!
