Is there a fast way to get an inner critic to be quiet? Read on…
Elizabeth writes:
What do you think about using a short-cut to talk to a part?
For example: I have self-criticism. Also fear about current events. I think these parts are trying to help me in a perverse way. Instead of saying, “I am sensing,” etc., what about just thanking the part when it presents itself? “Thank you”. Or do these feelings keep coming back again because you really need to do a more thorough conversation?
Dear Elizabeth:
I’m afraid that in this case, “Thank you” is just another way of saying “Go away.” Like the director in an audition who cuts off the actor in mid-sentence with “Thank you!” It means, “We’ve heard enough, and you don’t get the part.”
We would all love it if there were a quick and easy way to get inner critics and anxieties to fold up and go away. But there isn’t!
Especially not if what is wanted is permanent, long-lasting change.
Critical parts and anxious parts are sending their signals because they are worried. What they need is to discover that there is someone strong and steady who can take care of things so they don’t have to worry.
Someone strong and steady? That would be you. You as Self-in-Presence. You as the one who can turn toward any part with empathy and presence.
When you say to a part of you, “Hello, I know you’re there, and I sense you are worried,” you are doing much more than just putting a band-aid on it.
You are starting a relationship of caring in which this worried part can finally begin to relax.
I know, it would be nice if this relaxing happened more quickly! This kind of inner relationship does take patience.
But the patience will be rewarded when the critical and anxious parts do eventually settle down and you get the surprising new feeling that you are really OK… despite all that you wish would be different in this world.
