Enjoyable feelings can be an empowering resource when uncomfortable feelings show up.
In Inner Relationship Focusing, we teach you to turn toward challenging emotions by saying “something in me feels…”. But what do you do when you’ve got a strong positive feeling? Do you say hello to something in you feeling joy or love?
Acknowledging difficult feelings as “something in me,” and saying Hello to them can bring relief. When you know you’re bigger than the hard emotion you feel, it’s easier to feel calmer and make wise choices.
Positive, enjoyable, expansive feelings work differently in the body than contractive, stressful feelings.
All feelings are good and helpful. You need your emotions because they connect you with what you want and don’t want. They link you to other people. They help you to know yourself. They give you the energy to take necessary action.
But enjoyable and expansive feelings have another special role to play.
Feelings like joy, inner peace, and love, when felt in the body, can strengthen your ability to be calm and present when feelings like anxiety, stress, and anger show up.
You are calm and present when you can turn with compassion to sad or scared parts of yourself, and say to them, “I am here. I am with you now.” In doing this, you are creating inner relationship. And that allows the next steps of living to emerge, even from your most difficult feelings.
Feelings like joy and love can increase your ability to be present for more painful feelings. How?
When you feel joy, there’s no need to call it “something in me.” You can say, “I’m feeling joy.” Take your time to really have that enjoyable feeling in your body… as fully as it wants to be. Notice if your sense of being “you” feels stronger — I’ll bet it does!
Want more ways to welcome everything you feel inside? Try our free e-course. Get Bigger Than What’s Bugging You and discover a kinder, more compassionate way to relate to yourself.
